


Breath

by Mesaana



Category: The Folk of the Air - Holly Black
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Spoilers for Book 3: The Queen of Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-19 08:07:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22307884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mesaana/pseuds/Mesaana
Summary: MAJOR SPOILERS FOR QUEEN OF NOTHING BELOW!This is an added scene to the queen of nothing, or maybe alternation to an existing scene is more correct. Namely, how I imagined Jude's and Cardan's reunion after the serpent is slain, the weight of what she has done heavy on Jude's shoulders. Because even if I love every word in the book, maybe this part was just a little bit underwhelming. So basically, some angsty but still adorable love fluff. One-shot.
Relationships: Jude Duarte/Cardan Greenbriar
Comments: 7
Kudos: 142





	Breath

**Author's Note:**

> I had a lot of these little "alternative" scenes in my head when I read the book, just small things I fantasied about I guess. I loved how the the scene when Jude slayed the serpent was written but don't think the aftermath of it really had the same kind of weight to it. So I super spontaneously wrote this little piece with a glass of wine in my hand. It takes place in the carriage on the way back to the palace.

Once we enter the carriage and the door closes behind us all sounds become muffled. Or had it been muffled for far longer than that? Since I drew my sword and closed my eyes against the horror of what I had to do? I keep my eyes on the landscape going by outside, for once not able to face Cardan. My hands are still sticky with blood, his blood, and I intertwine my fingers to keep my hands from shaking so hard. After killing Valerian, shooting that messenger from the rafters, the duel with Balekin and ordering the deaths of others I thought I was unnerved by violence. But then why can’t I stop shaking? Why is there a ringing in my ears, growing in volume? Why is it so hard to breathe?

“Jude?”

The ringing in my ears stop as Cardan take my hands in his and I’m suddenly thrown back into the carriage, with Cardan. I turn my head to look at him but can’t get any words out. He holds my gaze anyway and I don’t realize that silent tears have started to roll down my cheek until he gently wipes one away with his thumb. His face is uncertain though, obviously as shocked as I am by my tears and without any witty response. I quickly try to wipe away my tears with the back of my hand and at the same time the words start to pour over my lips.

“I… I killed you Cardan, not because I knew it would break the curse, I really thought that I had killed you. That you were gone forever by my hand.”

Cardan continue to hold my hands in a steady grip.

“But you didn’t kill me, I’m right here Jude.”

“But I did! I had to!” I shake my head repeatedly. 

I realize it doesn’t make any sense. I know he is here, but it doesn’t change what I did. I close my eyes, not able to look at him but then I only see it happening all over again in my mind. Images of him, of us together mixing with ones from when I raised my blade and cut of his head. Of blood. My chest feels to tight to breath.

Then I feel his hands around my face as he presses his lips against mine. His grip is tight and I think he’s holding himself steady as much as he’s trying to do the same for me. I throw my arms around him and hold on tight.

“Thank you for doing that. Thank you for releasing me.” He whispers against my hair, his voice as brittle as I ever heard it. 

It feels like weight fall of my shoulders and slowly breathing becomes a little easier. Then I remember something else.

“When you were gone all I could think of was that you told me that you loved me and I didn’t say anything. And that I would never get to. That you were gone and you would never know.”

He slowly draws back to look at me.

“But I’m here now” he says, repeating the words from that night in the royal chamber, right before we kissed. 

His eyes search my face as if looking for the trick, the lie.

I take a deep breath as I shed another piece of my armor, maybe the last one.

“I do love you. And I always will.”

As I say it, the same words I said before I raised the sword, another weight falls from my shoulders and finally I can breath again.


End file.
